Often in our profession, we see the effects that a divorce can cause on children. Divorce is painful, stressful, and emotional on us as adults, but the impact on the children can determine how they conduct themselves as adults. For our sons’ sakes particularly, some good advice is to not express feelings of negativity about marriage, even though we may be experiencing them ourselves. Author/physician Meg Meeker says in her book Boys Should be Boys:
The most important decision a man makes in his life (aside from ultimate
questions about God) isn’t choosing his college, his career, or what city he’s
going to live in. It’s choosing his mate. If a man’s marriage is good, life is good.
He can lose his job, a child, a home, but if he has a solid relationship with a
spouse, he draws strength from it to endure the hardships. If, on the other hand,
the relationship is tumultuous and painful, life feels bad. His job leaves him
feeling less satisfied, his interests in hobbies wane, and he is more likely to give
up hope in all other areas of his life. One of the greatest gifts we can give
our boys is preparation for marriage.
Our daughters tend to be more forthright in displaying their feelings. If you have sons, their emotions are valuable, but they deal with them differently. Pray for God’s guidance to show you how to influence your son’s viewpoint and attitude about marriage positively.